Tweenies..

Many decades ago, when I was just a kid (ok, its not that long but it sure feels like it), there were babies, toddlers, kids and then teenagers. In 2006, there is a another category, tweens are almost teenagers, I think generally 9 -12 year olds. They are the in be'tween of the cuteness of innocence and the horrific angst of being a teenager. I never wanted one, I wanted to pass it by and just wait till the rush of teenage hormones filled my boys like too much sugar at the sweetstore and I was quietly waiting another 4 years to deal with it.

MJ reliably informs me that its illegal to pull out one of the arms of my newly arrived tween and beat him with the soggy end. Its tempting, let me tell you that. The angst has arrived much like an unwanted infestion of headlice. As I'm what some would refer to as 'a short arse', I'm no longer big enough to pose any physical threat to him and as I'm currently hobbling around like Rooney on a bad day, all I can do is holler for him to "Stop flicking your brothers ears". I fear that eventually, there will be a stand off, he'll fling at me that "I want to live with my dad" and he'll be relegated to living in the garage. Till then, I think I'll have another vodka as soon as Tween has retired to bed.

*NB! Before you report this post to the NSPCC, it was written with my tongue practically through my cheek, I'm not that mean to put him in the garage.... yet..